Cookies and Chaos
by BenBenIsCUTESTDinner
Summary: What started as a craving for chocolate ends with disastrous results. Oneshot. Doug/Ben PWP


**AN:** Was requested by a friend.

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><p><em>Anyone who claims that gay men don't get PMS is lying,<em> Doug thought to himself, taking in the sight of Ben was curled up on the couch, knees touching his chest, and slowly rocking back and forth. Doug considered going over to comfort his boyfriend, but he wasn't willing to risk another bout with Ben's temper. The last time he'd even tried to touch Ben when he was in this type of mood, Ben had thrown pillows at him. Not in the gentle pillow fight that leads to rolling around on the ground type of way, but a hard smash to the ribs, followed by a long string of curses. And Ben almost never cursed. Well, except in bed, but that was entirely different.

Still, seeing Ben huddled up in apparent pain caused Doug to be sad. He wracked his brain, trying to come up with some way to make Ben feel better. What was it that helped his sister... _Chocolate._

"Ben," Doug said hesitantly, not wanting to anger his boyfriend more than his speaking was already doing. "Would you like some chocolate ice cream?"

Ben's head snapped up, and a hungry look appeared in his eyes. Doug smiled inwardly. He'd done something right.

Then Ben's face fell.

"We're out of chocolate," he said blankly. "I finished it last night."

"Oh," Doug pouted. He had failed to come up with a way to make Ben feel better. He was a failure as a boyfriend.

"Don't pout," Ben said crossly. "It makes you look like a puppy dog. Which is endearing, but not right now." Doug pouted even more. Really, he couldn't help it. "No cookie for the puppy," Ben snapped, and then a gleam came into his eyes. "Doug," he yelped. "I want a cookie."

"Okay," Doug smiled, and he went into the kitchen. He'd spent enough time in Ben's house to know where everything was. He went first to the main cabinet which usually held the junk food, but it was empty. Crossing his fingers, he checked behind the pasta in the topmost cabinet, hoping that some of Ben's secret stash still remained.

Nothing.

He closed his eyes, and then opened them, hoping that now something would magically appear. Unfortunately, he was wrong. "Ben," he called hesitantly. "There are no cookies left."

There was a pause, and then there was a scream of outrage that could probably be heard three states away. "What do you mean," Ben asked, appearing suddenly in the kitchen, "no cookies?"

"There aren't any," Doug replied, moving over to put an arm around his boyfriend before he realized that touching Ben when he was like this was an incredibly bad idea.

However, Ben leaned heavily against Doug's chest, placing his head on Doug's shoulder. "Not fair," he mumbled.

Doug raised to his tip-toes to kiss the top of Ben's head, and Ben smiled at him. "Let's make some," he said suddenly.

"But Ben," Doug pointed out. "Neither of us know how to cook."

"But then we'll have cookies, and I. Want. Some."

Doug sighed inwardly. He couldn't resist Ben when he got like this. It was just too cute. He could only hope that Ben would never use these powers for evil. "What kind of cookies should we make?"

Ben fairly beamed, seemingly over whatever cramps he'd been having. "Chocolate chip."

"Do you know how to make them?"

"Mom's got a recipe around here somewhere." Ben disentangled himself from Doug, and opened up the cabinet next to the microwave. He pulled out a book and began to flip through it.

"So we need butter flavored shortening, white sugar and brown sugar, eggs, vanilla extract, flour, baking soda, salt, and chocolate chips." He paused. "That shouldn't be too hard."

"Ben," Doug pointed out, "we don't have any chocolate."

Ben pouted. "So we'll go to the store and get some."

"If we're going to go to the store, I could just buy you cookies."

"But making them is part of the fun! Please Doug, I want to bake with you." He glanced over at Doug hungrily.

Doug sighed. There was no way he was ever going to win. "Okay, so we go to the store and get chocolate chips. What else do we need again?"

Ben rattled off the list, and Doug checked in the kitchen to see what other ingredients they were missing. Most of the things were found in the kitchen, although they seemed to be out of eggs again. Which probably had something to do with Ben's breakfast habits, but Doug wasn't going to pry.

On the way to the store, Doug pointed out to Ben that neither of them was exactly the best cook, again.

"Oh come on, Doug," Ben said grumpily. "We aren't that bad. I manage to make eggs every morning."

"But Ben, we had that... incident... with the chicken last year."

"But that was us trying to cook an actual dinner! This is just cookies. It isn't that difficult."

"If it'll make you happy..." Doug replied, although he was still doubtful about the outcome of this experiment.

"It will." Ben leaned over and kissed Doug quickly.

"Careful Ben," Doug teased. "I'm trying to drive, and you're distracting."

"It's not my fault that you're easily distracted," Ben smirked, his hand drifting over Doug's thigh.

As far as Doug was concerned, the only reason that they didn't get into a serious accident after that was pure luck, or possibly the fact that they had arrived at the supermarket. Doug managed to park without incident, and kissed his boyfriend on the cheek. "Come on, let's get this over with."

"You aren't excited?"

"It's cooking, Ben."

"No, it's baking! We can do it!"

Ben was all but bouncing as he leaped out of the car and headed straight for the supermarket entrance. Doug sighed, and followed his boyfriend, muttering inoffensive curses under his breath. He could have sworn that just half an hour before, Ben had been hunched over in pain, and now he seemed to have boundless amounts of energy.

He vaguely wondered if girls were this difficult, but then he realized that he'd have to be with a girl, and then stopped that train of thought almost immediately.

"Doug! Come on!"

The supermarket was not often a place in which Doug found himself. He wasn't really much for cooking. Honestly, if he'd had the chance, he'd live off of hot pockets and sandwiches. But for some reason, Ben loved to cook. Which had led to quite a few near disasters in the kitchen, including a few fires, most of which Ben had sworn weren't his fault.

Luckily, this did mean that Ben knew his way around the supermarket.

_Eggs and chocolate chips... those can't be too difficult to find._ Of course, that totally discounted the fact that Ben was easily distracted, and was still craving chocolate.

"Why are you getting cookie dough?" Doug questioned. "I mean, I'd be happy to help you make that, but I thought you wanted —"

"Oh, this cookie dough is for eating," Ben said cheerfully. "Raw cookie dough is absolutely delicious!" Doug just smiled and nodded, and quickly escorted his boyfriend out of that particular aisle.

Thirty dollars later, they had purchased eggs, chocolate chips, cookie dough, ice cream, soda and a lot of chocolate. "Happy now?" Doug asked Ben.

"Of course," Ben replied, giving Doug a very sloppy kiss. He was slurping happily on the smoothie that they had picked up on the way home. The rest of the food that they'd purchased had been mostly put away, and Doug was hoping that Ben would forget about this baking experiment of his.

"And now we bake," he added.

Doug's face fell. _Da__rn__ it._

Still, he wanted to make Ben happy, so he rolled up his sleeves, and waited patiently for Ben to figure out how they were supposed to be doing it. "Right," Ben said cheerfully. "First, we have to preheat the oven." He stared pointedly at Doug. "Can you turn it to 350?"

Doug rolled his eyes, but obliged. It made Ben happy, and well... it was much easier than arguing.

Ben was going through cabinet, pulling out bowls, and measuring cups, and various other things that Doug assumed were going to be useful in some way towards their cookie making. He didn't know how though.

"So, we have to cream together the shortening and the sugars." Ben paused. "I guess that means stir it."

Doug watched as Ben measured out the ingredients, putting them in a large wooden bowl, and then he stirred it twice with a large wooden spoon, before handing it over to Doug. "Your turn," he said cheerfully.

Doug sighed, and took the bowl and spoon, beginning to stir. Ben was messing around with various other things, and then finally he took a seat on one of the counters, watching Doug intently, a rather large grin on his face.

"Having fun, Doug?" Ben asked.

Doug smiled. "Of course. But... my arm is getting a bit tired. This is kinda hard."

"Not the only thing I could get hard," Ben said and grinned, hopping down off the counter, and trailing a hand down Doug's chest.

"Do you mind, Ben? I'm trying to cook."

Ben pouted. Doug really couldn't help wanting to stop what he was doing and help out Ben. Ben just had that affect on him.

Still though, they were supposed to be cooking.

...Well, anything would be way more fun than cooking.

Putting down the bowl, he leaned forward and kissed Ben. Ben responded by pushing him back against the counter, and tracing his hand down and pulling the tails of Doug's shirt out of his pants, and running a finger up under his shirt and across his bare chest.

Doug moaned as Ben kissed him, especially when Ben moved his lips away from his mouth and began to trail hot kisses down his collar bone.

"What... what about the cookies?" Doug asked.

"Screw the cookies," Ben snapped.

"Don't you mean screw you?"

"Well, that too," Ben answered.

Ben trailed his hand down, and Doug gasped, and leaned backwards. With a crash, his hand hit the spoon that had been in the bowl containing the cookie dough, and it went flying, and the vast majority of it landed directly on Doug.

"Yummy," Ben smiled, and licked a glob of it directly off of Doug's ear, and Doug let out a low moan.

"Why don't we go clean you up?" Ben added, grabbing his hand, and pulling him out of the room.

"What about the mess?" Doug asked, but he was hoping that Ben was going to ignore it.

"Oh, it can wait," Ben said hungrily. "I can't."

Doug allowed himself to be led up the stairs, and into Ben's bathroom. Ben closed the door, and lowered the lid on the toilet seat, and then pushed Doug down onto it.

He allowed Ben to remove his shirt, and Ben straddled his legs, one hand trailing down to lightly rub over Doug's growing erection, causing Doug to let out a moan. He'd been doing that quite a bit recently, and he was enjoying himself.

He leaned deeper into the kiss, sucking lightly on Ben's lower lip, and lost all track of time, until Ben abruptly pulled away, and sank to his knees, sitting in front of the toilet seat, so that his head was level with Doug's groin.

Ben deftly undid Doug's belt, and Doug raised his hips so that Ben could remove his jeans and boxers.

He knew exactly what was coming, but he still let out a sharp gasp as Ben licked his way up his shaft, before taking the head into his mouth. Doug groaned as Ben took him deeper into his mouth, and the suction was nothing less than amazing. Ben had always been remarkably good at this, and tonight was no exception.

Soon, he was left utterly incapable of thinking, and he came with a groan.

Ben had pulled away just before Doug came, and he smiled at the mess.

"Now we both need a shower," he said matter-of-factly, with a smirk that made it clear that this had been his plan all along. _If he just wanted shower sex, he could have just said that in the beginning, instead of making me go shopping and then attempt to cook... but then again, it wouldn't have been as much fun,_ Doug mused.

Ben began to strip off his clothing, and Doug let out a whistle, enjoying this. And Doug was definitely watching the show Ben was putting on as he stripped off his clothing.

Finally naked, Ben stepped into the shower, sticking his ass out, practically shoving it into Doug's face as he turned on the water.

Doug reached for it, he couldn't help himself, it was so tempting and it was right there.

"Not yet," Ben huffed, lowering his head for a kiss. "Get in the shower."

Doug didn't even hesitate before he obeyed, quickly stripping off what remained of his clothing and following Ben into the shower.

"We need to get you cleaned off," Ben said, taking a swipe at the now quite soggy cookie dough that was still clinging to Doug's collar bone.

"I think," Doug groaned, "that I'm plenty clean now."

Ben shoved him up against the wall, and Doug watched as the water sprayed all over his boyfriend's chest. Still, he didn't have much time to take in the incredibly hot sight, before Ben was pushed up against him, and they were kissing again.

"Against the wall," Doug whispered, and Ben agreed, bracing himself. Doug kissed the back of his neck, and Ben felt a familiar hardness up against him, but it was quickly removed as Doug exited the shower. He heard the distant sound of a condom wrapper tearing, and Doug soon returned to the shower, taking up again where he had left off.

As Doug kissed along the back of his neck and shoulders, Ben felt the cool liquid up against him, and the familiar sensation of Doug's fingers entering caused him to let out yet another moan, and he thrust backwards against Doug's fingers.

Doug let out a slight laugh.

"Easy, Ben," he said teasingly. "Not all at once."

Ben pouted, and it was, in Ben's opinion, a fairly sexy pout. Sadly, it was entirely wasted, since he was facing the wall and Doug was behind him. However, his boyfriend knew him well enough to know when he was pouting.

"Don't pout," Doug said, and then he bit gently into Ben's neck.

Ben thrust forward involuntarily, and Doug laughed again.

"I think I've teased you enough," Doug said, and he matched actions to words by pushing into Ben, who groaned as he felt the familiar pressure inside him.

Doug began to build up a rhythm, thrusting faster and deeper, and it was all that Ben could do to hold onto the wall and keep himself from collapsing against it.

Finally, Ben was tipped over the edge, and he came hard. Doug followed a few strokes later, and then the two finally did collapse up against the wall, a massive tangle of limbs. Doug kissed his neck.

"We should bake more often," Ben laughed, as the two of them sank to the bottom of the shower, the water still pounding against them.

"Anytime," Doug said, kissing him softly.

They just sat there, utterly content to be together, when there was a shriek from downstairs.

"DOUG! BEN!" The shout was unmistakably Ben's mother. "You two are DEAD."

Doug just leaned up against his boyfriend and smiled. It had definitely been worth it.


End file.
